“Do not grieve over the inevitable.”
- Author Unknown
What is the most inevitable thing in our
Grief is a part of all endings, even good
ones, however society seems to have gone to the extreme by making death
something unwanted or unusual, instead of the completely natural transition
that it is.
There is no rhyme or reason, in human terms,
when or why or how anyone dies. I can
say this with certainty though, when it is your time to leave your body…it is your
time and nothing will stop or prevent that transition from
An oft repeated phrase is that it isn’t fair
the person died. Really?
Death is the only truly fair thing in
this entire world. It doesn’t matter who
you are, what you own, what you do, or even what you believe, death happens to everyone.
By saying, and acting, like death shouldn’t
happen, society has actually devalued life.
Just as a frame gives value to a painting by defining its borders, birth
and death define the borders of our lives.
Life is a journey, and like any journey we
undertake, we get into a vehicle at Point A (birth) and then travel (life) to
Point B (death) where we get out of the vehicle. Some journeys are quick treks around the
block, while others are long, epic ones.
Some start out with the idea it will be a long journey but the
unexpected occurs cutting it short.
Others seem as if they will barely start and end up lasting a long
By focussing so intently on a person’s death
(especially if it has been considered a traumatic one), we also devalue the
individual who died and their impact on the world and people around them.
So, I personally refuse to attend funerals,
memorials, or even “celebration of life” gatherings. Instead, in my own private and personal way,
I thank the person for what they brought to my life and wish them all the best
as their soul transitions to the next stage.
While they no longer have skin on, they are
still as close as our hearts and our dreams, and those memories never die.
Spring, a very tempestuous time of year as
the seasons change, andtraditionally a
time of cleaning and sorting - getting rid of the old and stale to make room
for the new and fresh.
To accomplish this, many people create a
to-do list, or at the very least, add their spring cleaning items to their
ongoing to-do list.
I’ve mentioned before how I personally have
difficulty with to-dos lists.Not
because I have nothing to do, but because the process of listing the items just
doesn’t work for me.
The other day, I read of a slightly
different approach to the whole concept of the to-do list.
Instead of listing the items, colour-coding
them, prioritizing them, crossing off what is done before transferring the
unfinished items to a new list, or whatever your preferred process is, you schedule
the items into your calendar (paper or electronic) in 15 or 30 minute
chunks of time - even if the scheduled date is six months or up to a year away.
The theory is that if you aren’t willing to
set aside a dedicated block of time to do or start, the task, then there is no
point it being on your list of things to do.Schedule it and do it, or delegate it or dump it.
I know in the past when I’ve discussed with
different people about to-dos and unfinished tasks a frequent comment I’ve
heard is that the items have to be on the list because they have to
Really???How long have some of those items been on your list?I bet it is more than a handful of days and
If an item or task has to be done,
guess what, it will get done whether it is on a list or not.
Truthfully, how long have you really been
putting off those tasks that you just transfer from one to-do list to another
to another to another...?
This spring, why not clean out your to-do
list by dumping those tasks that you know will never get done because you
really don’t want to do them - otherwise you’d have done them already.
This will lighten your life, and ultimately
your overall schedule, as it lightens your mind, body and spirit and gives you
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