Beth's Ponderings It’s been a while since I gave a health update, so I guess it is time for another one. It has now been 15 months since my life turned upside down and I started on this particular journey. When I started, I was told that normal (i.e. relaxed) muscles look something like this… ________________________________________
with blood vessels and nerves in between
With the liver stress, and everything else, mine were like this… ________________________________________ ________________________________________
My blood vessels and nerves had to really strain and work overtime to try and get anything through. No wonder I felt totally exhausted! So the past 15 months have been spent trying to release the muscles, as well as figure out what exactly was triggering them to constrict so tightly and stay tight. Through much trial and error, and various leaps forward, as well as great setbacks, progress has been made. The muscles are releasing a bit at a time and are about halfway released. While the release is positive and necessary for healing, it isn't without what feels like drawbacks. Now that the muscles are loosening, any toxins, emotional energy, etc. that have been chronically stuck in the muscles are also being released and flooding into my system. Unfortunately, my liver is still not up to processing such a flood so is still acting stressed at times which means my energy levels tend to bottom out. As I explained to one person, it could be said that I’m improving by inches daily, however the scale is not a yardstick but rather a mile, so there still many inches to go.
If you could say anything to anyone, what would you say? I came across the above thought in a book I read recently. Now, there are different ways of looking at this. You could look at it from the angle of what wisdom would you like to leave behind for people as your personal legacy. Or, you could approach it from the angle of healing a troubled relationship - past or present. Or, do you need to say something to end a current relationship that is poisoning your life? Perhaps there is someone you really want to meet - famous or otherwise - whom you’d love to ask that single burning question that has been circling around your brain forever. Ever been in a situation where you couldn’t think of what to say at the time but had a great reply or rebuttal hours later? You can probably think of someone, or a group of people, for all the above scenarios, as well as some I may have missed. So...if you could say anything, what would you say? So many of us think that we can’t say what we want, or need to say, because we fear the other person’s reaction, or because the person has died, or because we feel the person is too far out of reach for us to contact. But we don’t have to actually say it to the person. Yes, we often feel we need to be acknowledged, listened to, and understood, but the most important aspect of this is not the other person. And you can put your fears and concerns totally on hold. Write it down. Go somewhere where you are completely alone and say it aloud as you picture the person in front of you. If you feel comfortable after that step, you can share it with the person if possible, however, that step isn’t really necessary because after you say what you need to say, you will probably be quite surprised to discover that what you said isn’t for the other person after all, but rather something you needed to hear at this time. What is it that you, and only you, can express, to be fully you?
To read the complete issue of The Chautauqua, click here.