Whose life are you
currently living?You might be surprised
at the answer when you take the time to stop and think about it.
If you said you are
living your own life, you might want to think again.
For example, if you
have ever made choices to make someone proud of you, then you aren’t living
your own life, you are living theirs.People
in our lives are either proud of us, or they aren’t.If they are, it is because of who we ARE
inside, not because of what we do, or other externals.And, if they aren’t proud of us, well,
chances are pretty darn good that nothing we do will change that, and it’s
Or, have you ever
said that you chose to go into a certain career, or reach a certain milestone,
or obtained something because someone in your family wasn’t unable to?Guess what?That means you are living their life and dreams, not your own.While there is nothing wrong at all by being
inspired by the actions and dreams of another, too many of us adopt those
dreams and aspirations without even considering if they are the right fit for
us, and often, they are quite ill-fitting as we don’t have the same qualities
or desires necessary for successfully obtaining them.
Have you ever gone
with the flow of society into a lifestyle or career path because everyone else
did.Just because it seems to work for
others, doesn't automatically mean that it works for everyone.We are all unique in viewpoint, needs,
talents, and skills, and what makes us unique is needed in the world, provided
we don’t let life conform us to some cookie-cutter ideal.
We think we are living out our own dreams and
life, but rarely are we.There are just
too many outside influences drowning out our own inner wisdom and guidance.
So, how do you know
when you are living your own life and not another's.Simple...do you feel happy most of the
time?Is your life simple and easy for
the most part?If so, you’re on the
right track.If not, reassess whose life
you are living.
We only get one
chance at this particular life, so why not live your own dreams?
We are now a whole
month - hard to believe, I know - into the new year. How are you doing with your New Year’s
resolutions? That is, if you are the
type to make resolutions.
Most people, even
if they don’t formally make resolutions, do have a thought or two of how they
would like to make some sort of lifestyle change, or do something different in
their lives, or just add new adventures, as it is a new year.
We feel, since the
calendar has changed to a fresh new year, that we need to do something fresh
and new too.
There is nothing
wrong with that line of thinking, however, I recently read something that
turned the whole resolution thing on its head.
resolving to make habit changes such as the typical “lose weight” or “exercise
more,” or resolving to make some other radical lifestyle change, we should ask
ourselves “what worked for me last year?”
By identifying what
habits or lifestyle choices did work, we can then bring them along with us into
the new year and build on them, creating more success.
We tend to take for
granted what is working in our lives, which is a whole lot more than we think
since it tends to get overshadowed by the one or two things that don’t work. Yet, by focusing on, and continuing, patterns
of behaviour that do work, and come more naturally to us, and create value in
our lives, we are more likely to phase out the habits and lifestyle choices
that don’t benefit us as much.
Humans have a
tendency to resist change - especially change that we think we “should” want,
but don’t really. Or changes that we just
“know” are going to be hard and challenging, and not any fun at all.
And by focussing on
how difficult it is to change, we end up sabotaging our efforts, and
subsequently just give up.
The only really
successful change is the one that leads to relaxation and ease, not struggle
and anguish. Thus, by strengthening our
good habits we create change that sneaks in the back door so the changes
happen, almost like magic without our knowing.